Galaxy, Out.

The LA Galaxy's season came to a skidding halt on Sunday night as they lost to the Chicago Fire. At least the embarrassing display did not cow the Galaxy's ticket office who called me on Monday to ask if I was going to renew my season tickets. That's balls! If only they knew how to put those balls - in the back of the net!

Is the Galaxy that shitty a team that they did not deserve one of the 3 Western conference playoff spots? No. This whole season was jimmy-jacked to have the Galaxy on the road with the Beckham show. The idea was to get Beckham out to all the stadia (plural of stadium) and to draw in record crowds while attracting huge media/fan interest.

It all went according to plan until Becks' injury, but all of the teams playing the Galaxy experienced record attendance.

Also, the international call-up took away our "best" goalscorer, Landon Donovan, for a crucial period. How crucial? One goal in any of the several matches he missed would have earned us the 3 points and gotten us into the playoffs. That's pretty fucking crucial!

It wasn't just his absence. We've been without our star defender Chris Albright all season to injury, and then other new signings like Abel Xavier had to miss matches.

It also does not help that the Galaxy sold or traded about 9 players from the beginning of the season until the end. There is no transfer window, like in European leagues, so if you showed up for a match in June, there were 6 different starters in the side by October. That makes it more than a little difficult for a team to gel and to trust each other.

Oh well, fuck it. The bright news is that most fans barely saw Beckham. Next season, it's going to be another circus because he will be reintroduced, and all the media hoopla that should have played out at the end of this year, will be able to start fresh next season.

New Reviews & Songs Up Now!

I did the heavy lifting this update. Most if not all of my reviewers have been slacking off. You might notice a wiff of the impatient about the new reviews. You would be correct. No longer am I asking anyone to attempt to write the definitive, Lester Bangs review of an album. 99% of the time the records are so easy to decipher and so predictable that there's no point in looking for anything of substance beyond the eyeliner and poses.

Occasionally we are surprised. There are some great records still being made, or else we would have shuttered Culture Bunker a long time ago. All we really ask of the records that come in are:

1. Be original
2. Mean it
3. Give us a reason to care

That's it.

The Jukebox this Transmission is playing some old favourites.

1. Jonathan Fire-Eater: this band from DC moved to NY, was the darling of all the hipsters and then they imploded. Perhaps due to drugs, either lack of, or overabundance of. This song is from their EP right before their major label debut. Minus singer Stuart Lupton, they become the Walkmen, and kind of suck.

2. Jimbo Johnson & The Violators: this raw funk/soul scorcher from the late 60s is on a rare, if not impossible to find compilation called "The Get It." Soul Brother Bucket hipped me to this album several years ago. Pure gold. "Work on it, doggone it!"

3. Felt: This Scottish band perfected a hybrid style of Television meets classically trained guitarist and organist. Incredible poetry and beauty. I think they sold 6 records in the US, all to me. Their heyday was from 1983-1988. Went on to Denim.

4. Bob Mould: how can anyone not love the wind tunnel singing and tower of guitars? Mould is a wonderful songwriter, a true American icon. It's kind of weird to see him all yoked out these days, since he's been hitting the gym. Mould's work through Husker Du, Sugar, and his 6 solo albums is harrowing, exhilirating and hugely entertaining.

5. Sonic's Rendezvous Band: this is what Brother Sonic Smith created after the collapse and death of The MC5. The SRB gigged all over Michigan and several of these electrifying sets were captured and released in a boxed set, against the will of the Smith estate. Evidently Fred's widow, Patti Smith, is against these songs getting out, don't know why, as Asteroid B612 is almost the most intense rock 'n' roll workout you ever done heard in your life. God bless the MC5 and all her children.

6. Julian Cope: The archdrood. Quite the polarizing figure. If you are curious where to start with Cope's catalog, I suggest one of his early solo works like "Fried" or his mid-period masterpiece "Jehovahkill." Cope is mad as a hatter and comes up with some incredible stuff when he lands after one of his cosmic journeys. Also check out his first real band, The Teardrop Explodes.

7. Johnny Thunders / Heartbreakers: the fallen angel of New York Dolls landed on his feet with this great first Heartbreakers album. Heroin and stupidity would eventually claim his life, but we still have some classics. Why has no one covered this song?

8. Siouxsie & The Banshees: time to goth-out, since Halloween is just 'round the corner. This song shows everyone after 1985 how it's done. Check out that blistering guitar work all over this song, and Siouxsie's howl! Kids, goth music does not have to sound like a kiddie's haunted house novelty record!

9. The Mummies: Okay, maybe they are the greatest rock 'n' roll band in the history of the world. What shit-ass motherfucker is gonna argue? You!? Didn't think so.

10. Flux: this is the reformed, rejiggered art band that sprang from the radical punk band Flux of Pink Indians. This album ended up being a one-off, sadly. Super cool song.

11. Lowlife: a band that never even gained cult status stateside. This song is from their "Diminuendo" album and highlights the ropy, cathedral-esque bass of Will Heggie, who played for a bit with Cocteau Twins. In 1985 Scotland it wasn't crazy to build a song or a band around a bassline. If you love Joy Division's bass compositions, you'll dig Lowlife. Best of all, no one's heard of 'em! No movie is being made about them and you don't have to worry about the cunts at Kitson selling Lowlife t-shirts the way they're pimping "Unknown Pleasures" t-shirts!

12. The Three Johns: this is the semi-serious side project of Mekons' founder Jon Langford. They sound nothing like Mekons, and their reliance on a drum machine with abrasive guitars was fairly hip and original at the time. Ask Big Black or Shellac where they got their sound.

That's the musical selection for now. Hope you find some new favorites.

Paul

WeHo Emergency Services & The Fight Against Zombies

What does it take to apprehend a staggering freak at 3:30 am?

If you live in West Hollywood, the answer is 6 sheriffs, 2 ambulance driver EMTs, 4 firefighters, 1 pumper engine, 1 EMT truck, and 1 ambulance.

The only item missing was a helicopter.

Some freak last night around 3:30 am was staggering around, falling into my car and leaning on my fence. I was giddy for a moment because he looked and acted and sounded EXACTLY LIKE A ZOMBIE! The zombie invasion had finally begun! I quickly snapped 16 cartridges into my 12 gauge riot-grip shotgun, and rubbed my hands in gleeful zombie-killing anticipation.

My wife suggested maybe I should call the WeHo sheriff station, as a precaution, and if he turned out to be a zombie I'd get plenty of chances for video game violence later on.

The first sheriff vehicle, a prowler, rolled up 5 minutes later, with 2 burly sheriffs. Then 5 minutes later, a second prowler with 1 officer rolled up. Moments later, an SUV Suburban sheriff rolled in. Things were still relatively quiet at this point. My neighbors could still sleep.

Then the whole street lit up like a disco as a pumper fire engine with all its lights blazing came skronking down the street, that thirsty diesel motor creating a hard to ignore basso profundo rumbling. The fire engine was quickly followed by a paramedic truck with its lights flashing, and a lowly ambulance with its lights flashing too.

Since I live in swinging West Hollywood, it's surprising that we all didn't seize this opportunity to have an impromptu street party rave.

Evidenly my zombie hometurkey friend had smacked his head, either through a fight, falling down, or trying to claw through boarded up windows to eat the brains of those helpless few humans remaining alive. We'll never know.

They strapped him to a gurney, immobilized his neck and wheeled him away at 4:14 am. Almost 45 minutes of disco light emergency vehicles on my street for one zombie.

It made me wonder if these responders are on a flat, or if they get paid for each call they respond to and arrive on scene? The huge firefighter/cop/paramedic party would indicate the latter. My thought was, if the 2 original sheriffs had just stuck the zombie in the back of their car and raced him to an emergency room, he would have been there in 5 minutes. Instead, he was injured and had to wait 45 minutes.

And that's why, ladies and gentlemen, you don't want armies of homeless in your city, zombie or not. When they take ill or get injured, it's your city services who ride in to the rescue. A simple ambulance ride costs a couple thousand dollars, and you can bet your zombie-lovin' ass that this guy did not foot the bill: we did, as taxpayers.

Believe me, I want a robust emergency response team in my town. I want those cops to show up in under 5 minutes if I need them. But 6 vehicles and a dozen personnel are not cheap.

There is a homeless outreach center about 6 blocks away. This whole population of homeless was moved east of La Brea Blvd. a few years ago when the Target/Best Buy complex was built on the corner of Santa Monica and La Brea. You can drive by and visit with them all day long no Willoughby and Sycamore, they wait all day for the food wagons to show up.

This is turning into a screed against the homeless, which is not the intention. Just remember that when you support any program for the homeless that does not seek to end their homelessness, you're just making things worse for them and for the area they are in. My neighborhood last night forked over about $8000 to take a man in and get him treatment.

There are many programs that seek to get the homeless off the streets, but here's the thing you don't hear very often: many of them refuse. They refuse because these shelters and programs have a no drugs/no alcohol policy. They also refuse because many are convicted sex offenders. Here's one story from the LA Times, and here's another from the LA Chronicle.

You will notice the tone of indignation in these articles concerning the "injustice" of having convicted sex offenders refused access to apartments. Who wouldn't want a child rapist living near them? One such bonehead, Terry Brown, feels that these sex offenders are now victims and have "paid their debts to society." Really? You had better go ask sme victims' rights groups, or support groups of molested children about that. Take a minute to actually learn about sex offenders/rapists/molesters and their behaviours, and how you can protect yourself, here, from the Be A Child's Hero Network.

You can also bet your sweet ass that at 3:30 am when a big fat dude, over 6 feet tall and around 275 pounds, standing shirtless in your yard, undoing his belt, groaning like a zombie and flailing against your car, you are going to have second thoughts about lax homeless policies.

Many other homeless persons are recently released ex-convicts, with no one in their family or friends network willing to take them in. Here's an editorial from the LA Business Joural and quote therein:

THERE is very little that's uplifting about L.A.'s chronic poor - a category that includes those Angelenos, many of them homeless, who are unwilling or unable to find stable employment. They are often mentally ill or substance abusers or ex-convicts or gang members or all of the above. Their presence in a neighborhood often prompts merchants and homeowners to look for ways to shoo them away.

Now that this guy is in custody, do you think he will get the help he needs? According to statistics, he will not. It is unlawful to hold someone against their will, even if for psychiatric evaluation. Even if this man is homeless, they will just let him walk out the front doors. There is no treatment to follow up on, no case officer to check on him, no one advocating to get him off the streets.

If you care, search for groups in your area that aim to end homelessness, not enable it.

I know what you're thinking: there was absolutely no evidence that this man was anything but a person staggering around in a daze. Maybe he got jumped? Automatically I have assumed from his demeanor and dress that he is homeless, and from his semi-clad state I deduced he was a sex offender. You are correct on all counts.

However, the man tried to tell the cops he was visiting a friend on my street and kept pointing to the house where an English director, his wife and 2 small children live. In other words, he was full of shit. He was coherent enough to speak when the cops shined lights in his face, and I wish I could have heard his explanation for what was going on (loud firetruck!) We have also had homeless people taking shits in the driveway next door, trying to break in to houses, and have had sex workers transact "business" at the end of our street, leaving the spent condoms on the ground like calling cards.

You gotta start somewhere. I draw the line well before my house.

And when the zombie invasion really happens, aim for the head.

Al Gore Wins Nobel Peace Prize

The Bush administration sure look a bunch of cunts now, don't they? The people inside that Oval Office are the only ones left debating whether global warming is "real." Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize, announced Friday, and his championing of this cause is a major factor.

The fact that should not be ignored is that Gore has been a tireless, lifelong champion of the environment, and was banging on about global warming before he was even in the Clinton White House.

What next, for Gore? Will he run for President and lively up the political scene? Speculations here, from LA Times.

Oral Roberts University Awash In Scandal

If you are a student at this Tulsa, OK sorry excuse for a school, ask that your diploma be printed on soft, absorbant paper. The only thing you're going to be doing with your degree is wiping your ass with it. AP has a story today of numerous scandals rocking this moron factory. One student boldy declares he is going to transfer because these scandals are devaluing his degree. Hey pinhead! The fact that your degree is from a school founded by the charlatan and huckster Oral Roberts already tells the world you're a moron. It's nearly impossible to make your worthless degree worth any less.

RIAA Wins Suit Over Illegal File Swapping

The LA Times reports today that the Recording Industry Assholes of America have triumphed in their suit against a 30 year old single mom, accused of sharing 1700 songs online. She is being ordered to pay $222,000 damages.

Is downloading songs stealing? Maybe. Is going to the library and borrowing a CD stealing? No. Is that borrowing depriving the copyright holders of royalties? Yes, so why is it different? If you make a mix CD for your friend, are you stealing music? According to the RIAA you are.

And that's the crux of the problem.

Firstly, the music industry is a corrupt, soul-sucking leviathan. It exploits and destroys as well as creates dreams. The business model they follow is a mix between Mafia ruthlessness and feudalistic God-given rights. When someone buys an album, almost none of that money ever reaches the artist. Yes, ARTIST. The royalties work out to something like $1.25 - $1.50 per mechanical copy.

But before the artist can get that money, the label/company recoups their costs for advertising, artwork, photography, lawyer fees, printing, shipping, storing the CDs in their own warehouse, and a myriad other sneaky charges. And if the record company is having a bad quarter they will empty the stock of CDs as "cut-outs," which means they cut-out the bar code and sell them for like $6 or $7 to record stores - but those do not count as sales, nor do the band get any royalties.

If you are the band, and your single is not doing well, the label can decide that it is better for their bottom line to pulp all of your CDs, thereby preventing anyone from buying a full-priced one because they can buy one "cut-out" for $8, your account is awash in red ink, they recoup their money, they hold onto your contract and your album masters and then refuse to spend another cent either promoting (tour support) or marketing your album.

Your career dies.

Secondly, when the industry switched over to CDs it was supposed to result in a drastic price drop on albums because it was now going to be so much easier to manufacture and ship albums. Instead, the industry upped the price of albums by about 40-50%. Where vinyl was selling for $8, CDs were going for $11.99. They increased the sale price of an album - but did not increase the royalty amount paid to the artist.

Is it any wonder that Prince gave away his recent album free when fans bought a magazine in the UK? Or that Radiohead is selling their new album for whatever price a fan decides is fair? Oh yeah, if you think "free" is the right price - you can sign up to get the album and pay nothing!

Radiohead is one of the few bands that actually sees royalties because their sales are so robust. Even that does not make it attractive for Radiohead to stay in business with the corporate music industry. Radiohead can make more money if a fan decides that $2 is what their album is worth, than if they went with Elektra and got the best royalty rate in the business. Both Prince and Radiohead know that the way they are going to make any real money is by creating fans; fans who will buy t-shirts and pay for concert tickets. It's almost incidental if they buy the record.

The best model for this is The Grateful Dead and Phish, two bands I do not like at all, but they are two bands that encouraged fans to record and swap their music. It created a huge fan base, loyal and diehard.

Does the RIAA really think that they lost $222,000 worth of business over this lawsuit? Do they, fuck! The reality is that most people would not have paid for the song at any rate, ever. It's not like this woman in Minnesota had $222,000 to spend on music. There are exceptions to every rule. There are some people who illegally stole tens of thousands of songs, and at that rate, it's ridiculous.

So when the RIAA cries about lost royalties I feel it's like a pimp crying about the whore he started selling when she was 12 and now has died of a heroin overdose. Fuck the RIAA sideways.

At the end of the day, you should pay for what you want to use or consume. There really is no free lunch. The RIAA should have seen that Napster and other file-swapping services were the dawn of a new era and they should have altered their business plan accordingly. What? You don't need to warehouse CDs anymore? Okay! Downloading will save us all money and make albums cheaper! But they didn't do that. People want to download music and they want it to be cheaper than in the stores. Look at iTunes, way over a million songs sold. The RIAA cold have said, "fuck it! Let's hop on this train! From now on, let's put our music up online at a better bitrate, totally secure files, and sell complete albums for 5 bucks!" They would have made their biggest profits ever.

I hope that Prince and Radiohead are leading the way to a new business model for the music industry. The old model deserves to die.

LA GALAXY 2 COLUMBUS CREW 1
The Galaxy are still keeping their dim hopes of a playoff berth alive with last night's win in Ohio. The Galaxy overcame a 2nd minute goal to peg back the home side and go ahead inside the first half.

Troy Roberts bundled the first goal past a flailing keeper and Kyle Martino shot through former Galaxy player Ezra Henderson's legs to make it 2-1.


USA Women lose to Brazil 4-0

The US Women's World Cup team has been the powerhouse side in international football for years. We should have brushed Brazil aside with ease and booked our place in the final. Instead, Germany went on to beat Brazil and we faced Norway, who eventually collapsed 4-1 under a reinvigorated US team.

What happened? In short, coach Greg Ryan replaced an in-form goalkeeper, Heather Solo, with someone who hadn't played in 3 months for God knows what reason. You're a nitwit, Ryan.

Here's what happened (broken down by Nick Webster):

September 27, 2007: Brazil vs. USA — Women's World Cup Semifinal

Greg Ryan decided to melt down on the eve of the biggest game he has ever coached when he benched his regular goalkeeper Hope Solo after three consecutive clean-sheets. Her replacement is Briana Scurry. Scurry hadn't played in three months. As the Arsenal fans sang to Jol recently at White Hart Lane "... sacked in the morning, you're getting sacked in the morning, sacked in the morning you're getting sacked in the morning ..." Yep, a 4-0 tonking and complete, utter humiliation.

Mind you, if the USA men's team ever finished 3rd in the World Cup, it wouldn't be "utter humiliation" but "total jubilation."

This War Is Dehumanizing Us All

The report today in the LA Times of a US military unit staging phony evidence on Iraqis and then killing them while unarmed, is itself enough of a reason for us to get the fuck out of Iraq. Read this horrible thing here, if you have a strong stomach.

One paragraph of note is this:

The man was kept in this position for at least half an hour, during which a child also wandered up to them and was held on the ground with a poncho over his head until a decision was made to release him, Vela said. Before leaving, the boy allegedly told them that the captive was his father.

The US soldiers thought briefly of killing the kid too but let him go, then murdered his father in icy cold blood.

The soldier testifying tried to detach himself, saying he didn't realize the bullet came from his gun, he was just following orders.

Isn't that the behaviour that got the Nazis in trouble? Didn't we learn anything?

Couple this with the rape/murder atrocity committed by a squad of Marines who wanted to rape a 14 year old Iraqi girl, then killed her whole family to cover it up --- how much more of this insanity can we or the world stand? It's clear this war is dehumanizing not only our Iraqi "friends" but also the dumb as dirt motherfuckers in uniform who don't seem to have the basic powers to discern right from wrong.

You think the Mai Lai Massacre in Vietnam was an atrocity? Wait until the real stores start coming out about this Iraq fiasco, we will all die of shame.

Arctic Monkeys (with Miles Kane) - Glasto 07 - 505

Arctic Monkeys performing "505", the best song off their 2nd album. Maybe they are not just a bunch of scallys.

Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye

Maybe the best band in Los Angeles, and a great song by them too. This video is not bad considering it was shot for pocket lint. It's not the sort of vid that's going to be played on major outlets because it has such an anti-gloss to it. Also think they could have made it a tad more obvious that it was a guy and A GIRL eyeing each other through this video, because for several moments there I thought SSPU was taking a Broken Social Scene-like tack and throwing some homoeroticism in their audience's face, just to see the effect. Whatever. Enjoy it.

Mr. Show- Monster Parties; Fact or Fiction?

One of my favorite "Mr. Show" sketches, blending their brilliance, silliness, lewdness and insanity. Go Dr. Retarded!

Wales Demolish Slovakia 5-2

The Welsh army marched into Trnava, Slovakia and laid the town to waste.

Everyone predicted a repeat of last year's 1-5 hammering the Slovaks dealt the Welsh on their home ground in Cardiff, but John Toschack's young Welsh side has at last developed a rhythm and a lethality.

Much-maligned striker Craig Bellamy returned to play for his coutnry after missing the 0-2 defeat to Germany on Saturday. Bellamy shone. He almost single-handedly took on the Slovaks, creating the first goal, scoring 2 more, and then forcing a Slovak defender to accidentally bundle the ball into the back of his own net for a 4th. The night was capped by Davies rifling in a shot in the upper corner.


This keeps Wales hopes alive of qualifying for next summer's Euro 2008 competition.

Gun Fact Sheet for Los Angeles

[provided by the Violence Prevention Coalition of Greater Los Angeles]

For more information call Billie P. Weiss, M.P.H. at (213) 351-7888
Copyright (c) 1998 VPCLA. All rights reserved. Revised September 2002
Violence Prevention Coalition of Greater Los Angeles
3530 Wilshire Blvd., Suite #800 / Los Angeles, CA 90010 / 213/351-7888

VIOLENCE PREVENTION COALITION OF GREATER LOS ANGELES
FACT SHEET
FIREARMS AND FIREARM-RELATED VIOLENCE
IN LOS ANGELES COUNTY

• Firearms in Los Angeles County kill approximately three people everyday.
- California Dept of Health Service, PHIS Death Data 2000
• In Los Angeles County, more people less than 35 years of age are killed by firearms than die from AIDS and motor vehicle crashes combined.
- California Dept of Health Services, IVPP/PHIS Death Data 2000
• In 2000, there were 1165 firearm related deaths in Los Angeles County of which 815 (70%) were homicides.
- California Dept of Health Service, IVPP/PHIS Death Data 2000
• There were 314 firearm-related suicides in LA County in 2000.
- LA County Dept of the Coroner, 2000
• There were 662 Federal Firearm Licenses (FFL) operating in LA County as of June 2002. Although the majority of these were licensed firearm dealers, 17 were licensed to manufacture ammunition for firearms and 30 were licensed to manufacture firearms.
- US Dept of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, 2002
• In 1999, approximately 2,000 firearm injury victims were admitted to LA County trauma centers. The medical charges to treat these victims exceeded $58 million with an average charge of $30,270.
- California Dept of Health Service, IVPP/PHIS Death Data 2000
• African American males are at greatest risk of becoming a victim of a firearm related hospitalization or death.
- California Office of Statewide Health Planning and Development, Hospital Discharge Data, 2000
• The mortality rate from firearms in LA County over the past ten years has consistently remained higher than California and the United States.
- California Dept of Health Service, IVPP/PHIS Death Data 2000
• Homicide rates from firearms in LA County over the past ten years have consistently remained higher than California and the United States.
- US Dept of Health Services, CDC, 2002
• Persons between 15 and 24 years of age are at the greatest risk of becoming involved in a firearm related incident.
- California Dept of Health Service, IVPP/PHIS Death Data 2000
• In 26% of violent crimes in the US, a weapon was present
- Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2002
• Offenders had or used a weapon in 55% of all robberies, compared with 7% of all rapes/sexual assaults in 2001 in the US.
- Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2002
• According to the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS) in 2000, 533,470 victims of serious violent crimes (rape and sexual assault, robbery, and aggravated assault) stated that they faced an offender with a firearm.
- Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2002
• Victimizations involving a firearm represented 8% of the 6.3 million violent crimes of rape and sexual assault, robbery, and aggravated and simple assault.
- US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• The FBI's Crime Report in the United States estimated that 66% of the 15,517 murders in 2000 were committed with firearms.
- US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• The number of gunshot wounds from assaults treated in hospital emergency departments in the US fell from 64,100 in 1993 to 39,400 in 1997, a 39% decline.
- US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• According to the 1997 Survey of State Prison Inmates in the US, among those possessing a gun, the source of the gun was a flea market or gun show for fewer than 2%, a retail store or pawnshop for about 12%; family, friends, a street buy, or an illegal source for 80%
- US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• During the offense that brought them to prison, 15% of State inmates and 13% of Federal inmates carried a handgun, and about 2%, a military-style semiautomatic gun.
- US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• Among prisoners carrying a firearm during their crime, 40% of State inmates and 56% of Federal inmates received a sentence enhancement because of the firearm.
- US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• Nearly 16 children a day died in 1997 as a result of a firearms homicide, suicide or unintentional shooting in the US.
- Children’s Defense Fund, 1998
• Nearly 3 of every 5 suicides in 1999 (57%) were committed with a firearm in the US
- CDC 2002
• Among persons aged 15-19 years, firearm related suicides accounted for more than 60% of the increase in the overall rate of suicide from 1980-1997 in the US
- CDC 2002
• From January through June 1999, a total of 213,468 handguns and long guns (rifles and shotguns) were sold by firearms dealers in California. This represents a 30.9 percent increase over the 163,060 sold from January through June 1998. Sales of long guns increased 50.7 percent, from 66,764 sold in the first six months of 1998 to 100,593 sold in the first six months of 1999. Handgun sales increased 17.2 percent, from 96,296 sold in 1998 to 112,875 sold in 1999
- US Department of Justice 1999 US Dept of Justice, National Crime Victimization Survey 2000
• 28% of gun-owning households with children do not always keep guns locked in a secure place in the US.
- Peter Hart Research Associates, "Americans’ Attitudes on Children’s Access to Guns: A National Poll for Common Sense about Kids and Guns," July 1999.
• Of gun-owning households with children, one quarter only "occasionally" lock and store the bullets in a separate place from the gun in the US.
- Peter Hart Research Associates, "Americans’ Attitudes on Children’s Access to Guns: A National Poll for Common Sense about Kids and Guns," July 1999.
• 60% of high school boys and 31% of middle school boys said they could get a gun if they wanted to in the US.
- Josephson Institute of Ethics, "2000 Report Card: The Ethics of American Youth," April 2001.
• 6% of high school students said they had carried a gun in the last 30 days in the US.

Sept. 11th, 2007

The people murdered 6 years ago still have not been avenged. The planner of the 9/11 attacks, bin Laden, is still at large. The group that gave bin Laden's group a nice home and helped them train terrorists, the Taleban, are back in charge of most of Afghanistan. Opium production in Afghanistan is at an all time record high.

Meanwhile, the USA has spent 300 billion dollars fighting a "war on terror" in Iraq. We deposed their brutal dictator and executed him, even though Saddam Hussein was someone we personally supported, gave materiel assistance, sold weapons, and tacitly endorsed his using VX gas on the Kurds in the northern part of Iraq.

Yes, Iraqi crude oil does taste that good!

And our hands are clean because we had nothing to do with the 8 year Iran-Iraq War that left over a million dead... or did we? Wasn't Hussein our "foil" against the newly revolutionized Iran, which had thrown out our bitchpuppet Shah in favor of strict Islamic fundamentalism. This is from zmag.org:

The main tool by which U.S. policy makers sought to secure their position in Iran in 1985 and 1986 was secretly providing arms and intelligence information. As a proclaimed neutral in the Iran-Iraq war, the United States was not supposed to supply weapons to either side. Nevertheless, U.S. allies kept the combatants well-stocked.<74> Israel transferred vast quantities of U.S.-origin weapons to Iran;<75> to what extent U.S. permission for these shipments was obtained (as required by U.S. law) is not known, but surely the U.S. had enough leverage to prevent the transfers if it had wanted to.

In 1984, because of Iranian battlefield victories and the growing U.S.-Iraqi ties, Washington launched "Operation Staunch," an effort to dry up Iran's sources of arms by pressuring U.S. allies to stop supplying Teheran.<76> U.S. secret arms sales to Iran in 1985 and 1986 thus not only violated U.S. neutrality, but undercut as well what the U.S. was trying to get everyone else to do. The cynical would note that Operation Staunch made the U.S. arms transfers to Iran that much more valuable.

We not only allowed Iran to arm to the teeth, we helped Iraq as well. I guess that money from weapons sales, weapons that are used to blow up neighborhoods, just tastes too good as well! This is from the Congressional Record, reported by ThirdWorldTraveler.com:

"The Bush administration [George HW Bush, not Chimpy] [has] sent U.S. technology to the Iraqi military and to many Iraqi military factories, despite over-whelming evidence showing that Iraq intended to use the technology in its clandestine nuclear, chemical, biological, and long-range missile programs."

At the end of the day, honestly, who gives a fuck. All the military and political experts have not captured or stopped Al Quaeda, or even their giant spokesthing, Osama. All of this fucking around with other nations' sovereignty or fighting proxy wars or making money off the death and destruction of a foreign people - could all be forgiven - if it made the USA safer.

That's not to say it's not immoral, because it is, but if all of those defense contractor cunts were making millions and making us safe, we would complain differently. In fact, all of this meddling has made the Mid East a powderkeg waiting to blow up. It's bankrupted the American economy and allowed a gang of cutthroats to gut the Constitution and flagrantly violate international laws (that we forced everyone to agree to) against inhumane treatment of prisoners. We banned torture on soldiers in the 4th Geneva accord, and against civilians in the 3rd, so fuck Berto Gonzales with a waterboard, the smug cunt.

All we can do is try to remember and rekindle the feeling we as Amerians had after the terrorist attacks of 9/11, a feeling shared by the world for us, their friends and allies. Just because Chimpy Bush has squandered all of that good will and genuine sorrow and empathy does not mean it is forever gone. Once Bush is back doing whatever he does, and a new President is in charge, we can rebuild these bridges.

New York City is a quintessential American city, and as annoying, stupid, stereotypical, loud, smelly, pushy, obnoxious, boorish and arrogant as New Yorkers are, they are still our brothers and sisters. As a west coast native, I have always hated the New Yorkers when they move out here. But on that day and in the interval that followed, I loved New York and her inhabitants. It was an attack not only on the concept of a better life (as immigrants have tried to find over here, some succesful, many not), but on the concept of hope and belief in a better future.

Many said in the aftermath of that attacks that this crime made us stronger as a nation. In recent years, under Bush, we have been driven apart as a people. We have been directed to turn against our own country, to divide along blue and red state ideologies, to distrust and hate our neighbor. Well done, Bush: you've accomplished what those terrorist cunts could never achieve.

Today we remember those who were senselessly murdered and hope that their families have been able to rebuild their lives. God damn the politicians who exploit this tragedy.

Bad Piggy

This story from St. Louis Today here, shows a naughty piggy threatening to falsify charges in order to arrest a 20 year old motorist who had done nothing wrong. This kinda goes back to one of my themes, and that is cops are simply dickheads, not necessarily racist.

UFO News

Here is a roundup of some recent UFO articles in the news. Because they're fucking real, man.

1. The Sydney Morning Herald reports that among the declassified CIA documents recently handed over to the public:

A 1997 paper issued by the CIA Centre for the Study of Intelligence titled CIA's Role in the Study of UFOs 1947-90 by Gerald K. Haines points out "over half of all UFO reports from the late 1950s through the 1960s were accounted for by manned (secret) reconnaissance flights over the US. This led the Air Force to make misleading and deceptive statements to the public in order to allay public fears and to protect an extraordinarily sensitive national security project".

Thus the Australian Government was secretly informed that UFO sightings were US spy craft, while the US population was kept in the dark, fuelling UFO conspiracy theories active even today.

2. The Great Yarmouth Mercury reports that a UFO crashed to the earth in flames... except it was a balloon, this time for real.

3. Jaunted.com reports on the UFO Triangle in Southern Illinois.

Fatty Gets His Day
Oh, man, you're in trouble now! All those people you insulted and mocked under your breath for being fat now have medical evidence that they merely possess a "fat gene" and you don't. So now what are you gonna do to feel superior, when all those chair-busting wobbling fatsters receive the obesity treatment and end up svelte as a seal dipped in Evian? Read it here.

Apple Smacks You Around Like Their Bitch
I hate to use gangsta terminology, but what else can accurately describe the relationship between Apple Inc and its customers? Steve Jobs unveiled a flock of new products today, and if you were one of those people who shelled out $600 for an iPhone a few weeks ago, you are going to feel like an absolute twat when you learn that they are now selling for $400. No reason, Apple just felt that after selling a million of them they could stop fucking their customers so hard for a change. There's also a new iPod coming out with the same touch interface as the iPhone, so if you bought an iPod, welcome to Obsoleteville, sucker.

No wonder everyone is all twitchy when they buy an Apple product, you never know if those cunts at Cupertino are going to update the product you just bought with a new version tomorrow for half the price and double the features.

Manchester United squad wallpaper

Here is the 2007-2008 squad, featuring all your old favorites.

Back row: Dong Fangzhou, Nemanja Vidic, John O'Shea, Phil Bardsely, Rio Ferdinand, ?, Michael Carrick, Darren Fletcher, Louis Saha, Mikael Silvestre.

Third row: Wes brown, Ben Foster, Edwin Van Der Sar, Tomasz Kusczak, ?, ?

Second row: Anderson, Nani, ?, ?, Ole Solskjaer, Chris Eagles

First row: Carlos Tevez, Ji-sung Park, Owen Hargreaves, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ryan Giggs, Gary Neville, Wayne Rooney, ?, Patrice Evra, Paul Scholes.

LA Galaxy lose to CD Pachuca in Super-liga Final

After double overtime and double penalties, the Galaxy lost to top Mexican side Pachuca last night. It was one of those nights where the Galaxy fell asleep in the first half, scored and own-goal ("auto-gol") and suffered the terribly shitty blow of David Beckham spraining his knee before halftime.

In the second half, the Galaxy came alive and possession was probably around 75%-25%
with Pachuca struggling to get out of their own half. Late on, Chris Klein scored an absolute stunner with an overhead bicycle kick delivered with pace and fury.

From there, the two sides endured a rather tired and lackluster additional 30 minutes before finally going to penalties. Each keeper made one save in the first 5 kicks, leading to a sudden-death round of penalty kicks. The Pachuca player netted, putting a lot of pressure on the Galaxy's stalwart defender Abel Xavier (of the fluffy white afro), who missed his shot high and wide. To be fair, PKs are never easy and he had just run his ass off for two solid hours.

It's more than a shame because this might have been the Galaxy's only chance at silverware this season, with the early season losses taking their toll. What do you expect, though, when your side's best striker (Donovan) and best defenders (Albright) are away for a month at international duty? We lost games then and never made them up.

For my money, Edson Buddle needs to go take some remedial 1 v 1 classes and learn how to take players on. Absolutely no quality in the final third without Becks. Anyway, a disappointing night for all, including the measly 12,500 people lucky enough to get tickets.

That's right, the 27,000 capacity Home Depot Center was limited to 12,500 tickets for this match and called it a "sell out." Wtf? The other weird thing is we had 4 subs, and you're only allowed 3. Was there some special arrangement made that if there was an "injury" (obviously not thinking of Beck's bad ankle...) they could replace that player and not use up one of the 3 subs?

Pointless Waste of Timer Done Good

David Wong, creator of the comedy site Pointless Waste Of Time, has taken a new job as assistant manager of Cracked.com and so has left his comedy ghetto behind. Cracked is definitely not as rad as PWoT, kind of like Coldplay is to Radiohead, but maybe Wong's new job will improve it. Congratulations to Wong, he's a really funny fucker. When you have a few minutes downtime, dig through PWoT, especially look for his Guide to Suicide, 50 Reasons LOTR Sucks, and an Open Letter To Videogame Designers.

Japlantis Found

You heard "Japlantis" here first, by the way. Giant underwater ruins off the coast of Japan have led a researcher to theorize they are the remains of an Atlantis-like civilization. Read about it here, from Reuters.

This is an area/topic covered in depth (guffaw!) already by Graham Hancock in his book "Underworld." Check out Hancock's articles on it here.

Report On Iraq: It's A Mess

A congressional report on the state of the Iraq war was leaked yesterday over fears that the Pentagon and/or White House would water-down the report's bleak assessment. Today, the Pentagon asked that the bleak parts of the report be rewritten. Read it here. Despite the White House blowing smoke up everyone's ass about Iraq, the study found that the new Iraqi gov't has met only 3 of 18 benchmarks designated as signs of progress, and that despite Bush's rosy assertions that his "surge" was working, it all depends on your definition of "is." The numbers of attacks on US troops dropped from about 26 per day in June to about 25 per day in July, but attacks on civilians remained the same or increased.

Didn't the public speak loudly enough last election?

Highway Deaths Decline

The NHTSA says that deaths are down in the US from last year. But how low?

42,642 people were killed in car crashes in 2006. 4,810 people were killed in motorcycle crashes. Amazing numbers.

Centro-Matic Tour Dates

Always looking to spread the word about this great band from Denton, Texas. Will Johnson splits duties between Centro-Matic and South San Gabriel, so look out for both.

NEW SHOWS/NEW TOUR:
Fri. July 13 – Dallas, TX/Granada Theater
Fri. July July 27 – Kansas City, MO w/The String and Return
Sat. July 28 – Chicago, IL/Wicker Park Festival w/ Man Man, et al
Thurs. Aug. 9 – Denver, CO/Larimer Lounge w/ Jason Isbell.
Fri. Aug. 10 – Lincoln, NE/Knickerbockers w/ Jason Isbell.
Sat. Aug. 11 – Lawrence, KS/Bottleneck w/ Jason Isbell.
Tues. Aug. 14 – Austin, TX/Mohawk w/ Jason Isbell.
Wed. Aug. 15 - Houston, TX/Walter’s on Wash. w/ Jason Isbell.
Thurs. Aug. 16 – Baton Rouge, LA/Chelsea’s w/ Jason Isbell.
Fri. Aug. 17 – Orlando, FL/The Social w/ Jason Isbell.
Sat. Aug 18 – Tampa, FL/The Crowbar w/ Jason Isbell.
Mon. Aug. 20 – Charlotte, NC/Amos’ Southend w/ Jason Isbell.
Wed. Aug. 22 – Asheville, NC/Grey Eagle w/ Jason Isbell.
Thurs. Aug. 23 – Louisville, KY/Phoenix Hill w/ Jason Isbell.
Fri. Aug. 24 – Nashville, TN/Mercy Lounge w/ Jason Isbell.
Sat. Aug 25 – Macon, GA/The Hummingbird

USA Beats Brazil, 2-1!

In a U20 tournament, America beat Brazil yesterday, read about it here, from New York Times. The young Americans controlled the match and outperformed their more illustrious opponents. Heads will be rolling in the Brazil camp, of that you can be sure. Standout performances from Freddy Adu (short guy on the left) and Jozy Altidore (big guy in the middle), the third player in frame is Sal Zizzo.

The U20 team fared better than their senior colleagues did in the Copa America, where the Men's National Team lost to Colombia, 1-0. We fielded a largely inexperienced team, with 6 players making their first-ever starts for the national side. From the US Soccer website:

After a 10-0-1 start under Bradley that included winning the CONCACAF Gold Cup, the USA’s home confederation’s tournament, the U.S. traveled to Venezuela with a youthful team and has lost three consecutive games for the first time since a trio of World Cup qualifiers between July 1 and Sept. 5, 2001. By winning the Gold Cup, the U.S. will be one of eight select teams taking part in the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup in South Africa, along side the eventual winner of the Copa America.

Next up on the U.S. schedule are three friendlies in Europe, beginning on Aug. 22 vs. Sweden in Goteberg, Sweden at 2:30 p.m. ET live on Fox Soccer Channel and Galavision. The U.S. then takes advantage of a double FIFA date in October, first facing Catalonia on Oct. 14 at the Nou Camp in Barcelona, Spain, and then traveling to face Switzerland on Oct. 17. Both October matches will also be televised on Fox Soccer Channel and Galavision.

Support The Dupes!

What does it mean to "support the troops"?

Do you support killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, including women and children (i.e., non-combatants)? Do you support Bush sending forces into Iraq even though Iraq had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks? Do you support abandoning the fight in Afghanistan against the Taliban - the people who really were behind the attacks? Do you support the resurgence of the Taliban, who are now in control of 3/4s of Afghanistan and have helped heroin production to reach an all-time high (no pun intended)? Do you support all of us in America spending our future to fund this war, to the tune of 2 and a half billion dollars per week? Do you support the wholesale destruction of our Constitution and the system of international laws that we struggled to create for the past 60 years?

Does supporting the troops mean giving consent to the abuses at Abu Ghraib? Remember that scandal? Seems like ancient history now. When you have pond-scum like Rush Limbaugh saying the torture and abuse at Abu Ghraib was "no different than fraternity pranks," and people believe it, it makes you wonder how stupid some people can possibly be. Don't forget that the abuses at Abu Ghraib, according the the general who investigated it, included things like anal rape of female detainees, sodomizing male detainees with brooms and whatever else was handy, waterboarding (a form of torture the US has prosecuted as a war crime for almost a hundred years), rendition (the act of kidnapping someone and handing them over to torture specialists in another country) and so on.

Does it bother you that of all those thousands of people held at Abu Ghraib (somewhere in the neighborhood of 6,000 people), none of them were charged with crimes? That they were held for nearly two years and then released back into the wild? Another way to read this is, those people did nothing wrong and were falsely imprisoned, beaten, and tortured without any charges being brought. That does not sound like America to me.

But it is America. We did it. Not only has it been proved we did it, but those responsible have either gloated about it (Rumsfeld) or lied about it. Those who have expressed doubts have been removed from power. Ask Zinni.

Bush has laid it out: you support all this because America is in a fight to the death with terrorists, and you have to choose sides. Abu Ghraib is necessary because of 9/11. Air strikes on crowded housing developments is necessary because of 9/11. Children are blown to bits because they were stupid enough to play in a slum where "suspected terrorists" might be.

If you express doubts or worse, you don't support the troops. You don't support Bush's crusade or his vision. In Congress, those who question this war have been called traitors. There have been comments made that Democratic congress members are guilty of treason and should be locked up and/or executed - comments made by other representatives, on talk radio, and in books.

How did we get to the point where a phrase like "collateral damage" doesn't fill us with horror? Do you remember reading about wedding parties blown up because a "suspected terrorist" might have been in attendance (but wasn't)? Why are Iraqis not seen as people, as humans? We are there to help them, right? Aren't we? I mean, seriously, if we are not in Iraq to help them, what the fuck are we doing?

I will say that I don't want our troops/dupes to die, I don't want them kidnapped, and I certainly don't want them tortured. But I also don't want them to be doing those things themselves to other people. If our forces capture someone, try them in a court of law, the way we expected and demanded other nations treat suspects. If they are found guilty, execute them.

I certainly do not subscribe to the belief that "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter." I think a terrorist is a terrorist. I don't care if they're ETA, or IRA, or Chechens, or whatever. Terrorists kill civilians to gain headlines and support. Terrorists blow up pubs full of ordinary folks trying to have lunch, or explode airplanes over Scotland, or assassinate judges. Those people, regardless of their grievances, are no friend of mine. They are enemies of mankind. The IRA's supposed policy of targeting only "military" targets might have ameliorated things, but they never stuck to that policy, did they? And just because someone is in a uniform does not make them a legitimate "target."

I also feel deeply sorry that so many young people have so few options in life that joining the military seems like the only way to get to a better future for themselves. There are people who join, like Pat Tillman, who are not desperate, and are motivated by some sense of honor, but those people really are dupes. Those economically and educationally deprived folks who join the military - it's a shame on our nation. Many join so they can end up going to college. How sad is that?

What about those who join because they want to kill people? How can you support that? Is that fighting for our country? If you want to make the world a better place and to spread democracy and even help the image of America, what's wrong with the Peace Corps?

We have a volunteer army. No one is forced into service. And for everyone who joined after the truth has come out that Iraq had zero involvement with 9/11, Iraq did not possess WMD, and the Bush administration lied, manipulated intelligence, silenced critics, fabricated and planted stories in the press (hello, Judith Miller...), and used our national tragedy as an excuse to pursue a private vendetta and to enrich their friends --- they are dupes.

So, 4th of July. I spent it in Manhattan Beach. Bikinis everywhere, most of them too small (as if that were possible) and resembling the stars 'n' stripes of the American flag. Fireworks. Anthems. Somehow, wrapped up in all of this is the warning: support the troops... or else. But I don't support them being in Iraq. I don't support Bush's war or his policies. I don't support bankrupting our nation to pursue a war for oil. I don't support our soldiers getting killed. I don't support a nation that allows the economic disparities to rise to such a level that huge percentages of young people have no future outside of the armed forces. I don't support any action that kills or harms a civilian or a non-combatant. I don't support Bush's cultural imperialism, where his apocalyptic brand of Christianity is the raison d'etre for every loathsome and illegal action his minions make.

I am against this war and always have been. Why not finish the job in Afghanistan and wipe the Taliban out of existence? I support that! They admitted to helping, harboring, and endorsing Al Quaeda! The Taliban is back, they are in control! Please, someone go destroy them! But no. We have a volunteer army in a nation that didn't attack us, the commanders are out of touch and out of control (we have been fighting there longer than we were in WWII - and - we have all these reports of illegal interrogations, violations of the Geneva Conventions, torture, rape, murder and so on, does that sound like anyone is running this thing properly?), and we are spending all of our nation's wealth on rockets and bullets and bombs instead of things to make our country stronger, greater, and safer.

Do I support the troops? Not while they are in Iraq. Do I support the dupes? No, but I do feel sorry for them. They did, after all, volunteer to go kill people. I hate seeing those images of soldiers saying goodbye to their children and families, but if you love them so much, didn't it ever occur to you that having someone blow you up or shoot you into pieces might not be the best way to show them you care? How can anyone not know, at this point, that Iraq war was a mistake and that we were tricked into it? How can anyone not know that it's an unwinnable mess and that the longer we stay, the worse things will be and the more Americans and innocent civilians will get killed? How can anyone sign up for the military when they see their own military extending tours of duty and lying to their own troops? Don't you guys fucking get it?

I don't want kids signing up for the military because they believe "we" stand behind them and what they will be doing. What they are doing is wrong. I don't want them becoming soldiers out of some mistaken form of patriotism or love for their fellow countrymen. The war is wrong, sending them to Iraq is wrong. Don't enlist, don't go. When a soldier is killed and, assuming this is possible, their soul finds its way to heaven, do you think St. Peter (or whomever) will accept the rationale, "I killed those civilians because a superior officer ordered me to do it."? Someone in a uniform can make you go against your nature, can turn you into a monster, and possibly maim you for life or kill you, and that's going to be your reasoning? You're able to follow orders? You will be held accountable. Just like those idiots in Abu Ghraib, they tortured and raped and allowed at least 26 detainees to die in CIA custody (i.e., these people were tortured to death) - and all because they refused to disobey an order. That's not good enough for me.

Our soldiers, and even our CIA spooks, deserve better.

It's unfair that a bunch of young soldiers were under orders from a cunt like Rumsfeld who just laughs off the violations of the Geneva Accords. These same soldiers will be held and tortured by another nation, under this new system put in place by Rumsfeld's defense department. Our soldiers are now unsafe because we have done so many illegal things in this war, and we think we can weasel out of it by calling these people something other than enemy soldiers. It's bullshit of the first order to say it's okay to detain indefinitely, deny them access to the courts, and to even torture them because they are not really soldiers and this is not really a war, but instead some sort of police action.

How can the CIA do their jobs if they are forced to do things they know are questionable, of little value, and basically illegal? Who the fuck wants that?

And if it's not torture, what is it?

How many times can a soldier punch your girlfriend in the face, or rape your sister, or shove a broom up your friend's ass before you say "enough"? Do you have children? How long do they have to be held underwater, gasping for breath, on the edge of death, before you can come out and say, "Okay, that actually is torture"? My answer is, you fuckers had better never even get close to thinking about doing those things to me and mine. It's un-American, it's against our Constitution, and it's fucking illegal to boot!

How is all this still possible? Because we "support the troops." Because we are afraid to be branded "unpatriotic" and are afraid to be called nasty names for saying we need to get the fuck out of this war and put some motherfuckers at the top on trial. This shit has happened because people were too afraid to speak out.

So no, I don't support the troops, but I also know they're having a shitty time. Mostly, I feel sorry for the rest of us who have had to watch this assault on America made by the Bushies. Next year we will hopefully see a new regime in Washington and hopefully at that time we will begin to document how corrupt, evil and incompetent the Bush junta really was so that we teach our children they will have to remain vigilant against these cowardly acts in their lifetimes, and so a tragedy like the Iraq war will not happen again.

Happy 4th of July, and Fuck You

...so says President Bush to America. By commuting Scooter "Cunt" Libby's sentence today, Bush has reinforced the idea that the judiciary system is a joke and that the rule of law in America is deader than a phone machine (as Beck said). Read about this latest travesty here, from the LA Times.

Anyone who supports this is a dipshit. Remember to tell those who support Libby that he was not convicted of outing Valerie Plame, he was convicted of lying to prosecutors and obstructing justice. Libby, you escaped this time but you will forever be branded a liar, an enemy of justice, and an opponent of democracy. Most of all, you are a convicted felon. You will go on to get rich of speaking tours and handouts from all the fatcat shitbags you helped over the years. I hope you choke to death on that money.

We have a system in place to investigate malfeasance by high officials, and Scooter "Shitbag" Libby thwarted the legitimate efforts of Patrick Fitzgerald, who was operating on behalf of the American public. We, who so innocently cling to the beliefs that that Constitution is a worthwhile document, that truth and justice are prized morals, and that the law applies equally to all citizens.

We are deluded, and Bush has proved so, emphatically. Well, fuck you back, Bush. If the hell you believe in turns out to be real, Bush, you are going to be rotting down there for eternity, you and all your cabinet, advisors, appeasers, apologists, cronies, activists and enthralled mindless zombie trolls.

Opossums Are Your Friends!

Don't run in panic, don't get the shovel, and put down that 12 gauge: the opossum is not your enemy. In fact, opossums are your garden's best friend. Read about it in today's LA Times, here. If you want a gentle creature that gets rid of snails, slugs, rotten fruit, decomposing carcasses and even a cockroach or two, the opossum is your animal.

Cheney Still Evil

VP Dick Cheney has not slacked off in his mission of being the evilest person in the White House. Despite his recent idiocy of saying the VP is not part of the executive branch, and despite the stonewalling and evading of Senate attempts to get to the bottom of several scandals, Cheney is unbowed and not even bloody.

I'm not sure even impeachment can stop this type of supernatural, monster-from-outer-space evil. We're talking things like silver bullets, crucifixes, and a stake through the heart. The Congress is sadly deluded if they think Cheney is not one of the evil dead who roam the earth devouring souls. He is.

Republicans, are you ready to admit that your boy is a monster yet?

LA Weekly Gives Print Blowjob To Mark Fuhrman

Last week's cover story in the LA Weekly was a breathless humjob that attempted to not only rehabilitate the infamous Mark Fuhrman's image, but also to paint him as a knight in shining armor, a hero whose time was tragically cut short. Read it here.

The problem with Christine Pelisek's blowjobbery is that her article takes every word of self-promotion Fuhrman utters as gospel, and forgets all about the lying, sexist, racist blowhard that the court transcripts uncoverd. (check out the transcripts here). There is not a whole lot of space devoted to the established facts that Fuhrman had a tendency to behavior that could be charitably described as virulently racist, nor to any of the facts that came out during the OJ Simpson (double murderer) trial that showed him to be a sloppy policeman.

Why does the Conservative movement allow this type of knuckle-dragger to wave their banner, and to claim his devotion to Jesus and George Washington? Don't they see that his beliefs are antithetical?

The fact is, Mark Fuhrman is exactly the type of neanderthal that the LAPD needed to kick the fuck out.

The thing that really disgusted me is how Fuhrman is playing it all out like he is the victim. Because his fucked up policework bungled the OJ conviction, another murder case was tossed out solely because Fuhrman again was involved; a trial concurrent with OJ's. It's almost a sidenote in Pelisek's story, but a crucial piece of evidence in the 2nd case, a door, was not checked in properly so there was no chain of custody, which means its use and value as evidence in a capital trial is diminished if not completely nullified.

Does Fuhrman feel any remorse, that his racist tirades and lazy policing caused 2 murderers (at least) to walk away? No, he seems more concerned about his image, and in correcting the mindset of the white power town he lives in.

There are those who say Fuhrman is a cunt, an incompetent motherfucker, and the person responsible for a murderer (now a pair of murderers) to walk free. Now that Fuhrman has relocated to an all white area, he can engage in crypto-fascist fantasies about the "Left" and "liberal media" (are they talking about Air America, for fuck's sake?). Don't forget about Fuhrman's masterful book on the Terry Shiavo case, which was described in a "conservative" review thusly:

Above all, Fuhrman proves that the death of Terri Schiavo was a legal homicide perpetrated by the State of Florida at the behest of Michael Schiavo -- who, while he always protested that he was doing it all for Terri, was actually in it always and only for himself. He demonstrates that Terri died because everyone failed her: the people charged with her care, the police, the politicians and judges involved with the case, and above all the man who claimed to care for her more than anyone else: her husband Michael Schiavo. Says Fuhrman of Terri's husband: "the control that he exerted over even the smallest details concerning her treatment, the efforts that he made to restrict access to her medical records and permission to visit her, and finally the stubbornness with which he pursued her legally sanctioned death -- is extreme to the point of suspicion." (from Conservative Book Service, where idiots go to get their fill of more idiocy)

Fuhrman, shut the fuck up.

Here are some examples of what a decent, noble, enlightened savior of manking the disgraced former LAPD officer is, just in case you're not sold on his bag-of-shit credentials, courtesy of http://web.mit.edu/dryfoo/www/Info/fuhrman.html:

The "Fuhrman Tapes" contain forty examples of the use of the term "nigger" to refer to black persons in a racially disparaging context. These references were not casual slips of the tongue, but a consistent pattern that recurs throughout the transcripts. In only one case - item no 12 - was Fuhrman assuming the role of a fictional character when the word "nigger" was used.

1. ( ...speaking of changes in composition of L.A.P.D.).

"That we've got females ...and dumb niggers, and all your Mexicans that can't even write the name of the car they drive."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p.11.)

2.( ...speaking of the physical risks to officers).

"If I'm wrestling around with some ___ nigger, and he gets me in my back, and he gets his hands on my gun. It's over."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p. 12)

3.( ...describing arrest of a suspect).

"She was afraid. He was a big nigger, and she was afraid."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p. 20)

4.(...explaining arrest of a suspect in Westwood).

"He was a nigger. He didn't belong. Two questions. And you are going: Where do you live? 22nd and Western. Where were you going? Well, I'm going to Fatburger. Where's Fatburger. He didn't know where Fatburger was? Get in the car."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p.33)

5.(...commenting on L.A. P. D. politics).

"Commander Hickman, was a dickhead. He should be shot. He did that for one thing. He wants to be chief, so he wants the city council, and the police commissioner, and all these niggers in L.A. City government and all of 'em should be lined up against a wall and fuckin' shot."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p.41)

6.(...discussing American aid to drought victims in Ethiopia).

"You know these people here, we got all this money going to Ethiopia for what. To feed a bunch of dumb niggers that their own government won't even feed."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p. 44)

7 & 8(...discussing where he grew up in the state of Washington).

"People there don't want niggers in their town. People there don't want Mexicans in their town. They don't want anybody but good people in their town, and anyway you can do to get them out of there that's fine with them. We have no niggers where I grew up."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1, p.45)

9.( ...speaking of women as training officers).

"When I came on the job all my training officers were big guys and knowledgeable, some nigger'd get in their face, they just spin 'em around, choke 'em out until they dropped."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1., p. 47)

10.(...discussing use of chokehold by L.A.P.D.).

"No, we have to eliminate a choke hold because a bunch of niggers down in the south end of L.A. said this is bad."

(McKinny Transcript No. 1., p. 49)

11.(...discussing police use of term "Bubba").

"You know, policemen also use "Bubba" a lot, 'cause it's a slam term, because niggers you know they call each other Bubba. They go, hey Bubba, what's happening, like that." (Tape No. 10, p. 6; McKinny Transcript No. 2, pp. 3-4)

12.(...suggesting how a fictional character would respond to a question whether officers would respond to a question whether officers need probable cause to stop and search suspects).

"Q: Why are you even talking to them?

A: Nigger. Stop them. See who they are.

Q: You don't have any probable cause? You just want to talk to them?

A: ...probable cause. You're God. (Tape No. 1. p.26; McKinny Transcript No. 2, p.14)

13.(...discussing where Black Muslims live).

"Q: Why do they live in that area?

A: That's where niggers live." (Tape No. 1, p.28; McKinny Transcript No. 2, p.15)

14.(. .. discussing the exhilaration of winning).

"I mean, that's just the way you feel, you know. You've got 200 Niggers that are trying to take you prisoner." (Tape No. 1, p.1; McKinny Transcript No. 2, p.19)

15.( ...suggesting police reaction to resistant suspect).

"She's a policeman in this city, and don't you ever fight or fuck around with policemen. You'll do what you're told, you understand Nigger." (Tape No. 1, p.10; McKinny Transcript No.2; p. 21)

16.(...discussing woman officer learning fencing).

"You just go out and what are gonna do with some Nigger with a knife? Go `on guard?' I mean that's bullshit." (Tape No. 4, p.2; McKinny Transcript No. 4, p.2)

17.( ... describing practicing martial arts kicks).

"I used to go to work and practice movements. Niggers. They're easy. I used to practice my kicks. (Tape No. 4, p.9; McKinny Transcript No.4, p.12)

18.(...discussing lack of women football players).

"Don't they think they are physically capable? They can arm wrestle 6'7" Niggers." (Tape No. 4, p.24; McKinny Transcript No. 4, p.30)

19. & 20.(...discussing use of chokehold by L.A.P.D.)

"We stopped the choke because a bunch of Niggers have a bunch of these organizations in the south end, and because all Niggers are choked out and killed -- twelve in ten years. Really is extraordinary, isn't it?"

(Tape No.4 pp.28-29; McKinny Transcript No. 4,p. 35)

21-24.( ...directing Laura Hart to Wilshire Division).

"Go to Wilshire division. Wilshire division is all niggers. All Niggers, Nigger training officers, niggers ...with three years on the job. Think of that 3 plus 1."

(Tape No.5, p.11; McKinny Transcript No.5, p.9)

25.( ...describing his partner Tom).

"He grew up in school with all blacks, and every time a nigger looked at him, he'd jump them cause he figured they were going to jump on him, so he might as well start the fight right now and get it over with." (Tape No. 5, p.12; McKinny Transcript No. 5, p.10)

26.(...describing the "last white strongholds".)

"Westwood is gone, the niggers have discovered it. When they start moving into Redondo and Torrance. Torrance is considered the last white middle class society." (Tape No. 5, p.17; McKinny Transcript No. 5, pp. 13-14)

27.(...discussing female police officers.)

"They don't do anything; they don't go out there and initiate a contact with some 6'5" nigger that's been in prison for 7 years pumping weights." (Tape No. 6A, p.34: McKinny Transcript No. 6-1, p.11)

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS --- HBO DOWN BUT NOT YET OUT.

You'd think David Chase went around and personally pissed in the cornflakes of every fan of The Sopranos. The conclusion to the series was deemed unsatisfactory (in kind terms) by many, and to make things worse, the new series (John From Cincinatti) offered up in hopes of snaring some of the rabid Sopranos fans turned out, basically to suck donkey dick.

Then along came Flight of the Conchords, a quirky comedy that is equal parts Tenacious D and Extras. There is not a whole lot new or original in this series, but it is very funny and very enjoyable. While it does not have the cinematic splendour of a show like The Sopranos, FOTC again proves that HBO is really the only channel to watch for quality TV.

And long live Paulie Walnuts

TV CASUALTY!

Borrowing Glenn Danzig's words, I couldn't help but think that my TV habit is in serious danger of hanging like a bad jones over my head.

It only makes matters worse that I bought a new TV, the first one I've ever purchased, and it's a beauty! Now I have to have something to watch.

The Sopranos ended their run on HBO, and by all accounts it was not a brilliant finish. Articles by Nikki Finke in the LA Weekly essentially called bullshit on the "cut to black" technique, calling it basically an emperor's new clothes moment. Good thing I wasn't a regular viewer of that show, because I'd be bent!

The debut that same night of HBO's surfing drama, John From Cincinatti, was obviously designed to lure in some of those jonesing viewers, but Sopranos and JFC couldn't be more opposed in character and tone than if it were planned. Then again, I only started checking out Sopranos in their 4th season, way too late to know if it started slow or what.

I gave JFC my attention, just trying to figure out the tone and direction of the show, to see if there was any plot surfacing. The show is loaded with surfing experts/advisors, like Steve Hawk, Herbie Fletcher and Brock Little. But this is no retread of "Lords of Dogtown," this is something that appears to be designed for a nightmare world that is half daytime soap opera and half censor-free adult programming.

I'm not watching another episode. It's going to take someone I know and trust to come up and say, "this show is amazing!" for me to change my mind. Basically it reminded me of something like Dallas or Falcon Crest at the beach. And don't get me started on that cast, holy shit, who put that group together?! I can almost guarantee you now that this show will be cancelled before it gets to Season Two, leaving HBO high 'n' dry without another show.

What are we supposed to do, those of us who have grown used to watching quality TV on HBO, where they don't pander to childish tastes or run scared from censors? I can't go back to watching network TV with their bullshit commercials, their bullshit 7 act structure, and their tepid, unimaginative retreads. No sir!

Something that IS good, though, is Flight of the Conchords. Only seen the one episode but so far it's pretty funny. Granted, it can basically be called 2 Kiwis Pirate Everything Tenacious D Already Did, but at least they're stealing from the best. I recommend this show.