Suing Radiohead --- In light of the landmark legal decision recently against Big Tobacco and the Gun Makers of the USA, I am considering suing Radiohead. Consider: it has been ruled that the makers of Tobacco and Gun products are liable for the economic damages resulting from normal usage of their products. I went to Radiohead last night. I think we can all agree that Radiohead encourages dope smoking morons to continue their dope smoking ways. The way I calculate it, I should be able to recoup all the money I spent on drugs ever since "OK Computer" was released. It breaks down like this:
1. average price of drugs = $60 per 1/8 ounce (the good stuff)
2. average listens of "OK Computer" and later albums before item in #1 is gone = 10
3. cost, per week, incurred because of Radiohead's product = $30
4. weeks since "OK Computer" recklessly released on the public with no warning labels = 252.
5. total amount of Radiohead's liability = $7,560
If you want to join me in a classaction suit, shoot me an email.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Manchester United vs. Arsenal --- The two big teams in the English Premier League met last Sunday in what should have been an epic battle on the pitch. The resulting match was markedly lacklustre, with the only real fireworks coming in the 80th minute. The events that follow were obvious to anyone watching the match, despite Arsenal's Arsene Wenger's complete denial. (I saw it with about 50 United and 5 Arsenal fans at the Cock 'N' Bull Pub).
1. Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Man Utd) went up for a ball and fell on Patrick Vieira (Arsenal's captain).
2. Ruud knew full well he would be given a yellow card caution for this, and begin to reach down to help Vieira up.
3. Vieira, incensed, lashed a kick out at Ruud's knee, but only to scare Ruud.
4. Ruud jumped back in shock.
That's what sparked the referee into giving Vieira his second yellow card of the match, which is the same thing as a red card, and suddenly Arsenal was down to 10 men. Many Arsenal players felt Ruud somehow baited Vieira into this, including the vociferous Martin Keown, Lauren, and goalkeeper Lehmann. The way it works is, even if you're fouled or assaulted, you can't retaliate. Those are the rules, and without respect for the rules there is no game.
In stoppage time (time added on to account for players being hurt or booked and wasting time), the score was still 0 - 0, and Man Utd's Diego Forlan (going in for a header that surely would have scored) was pushed down by Martin Keown in the penalty box, which left no choice for the referee but to award a penalty kick. Again, Arsenal's players reacted furiously and got in the ref's face, which, under normal circumstances, would have merited a yellow card for each player challenging the ref. Ruud stepped up to take the kick and ended up hitting the crossbar. The ball was cleared and the full-time whistle was blown.
Ruud, obviously dejected because he could have won the game, was walking back and suddenly a gang of Arsenal players, including Martin Keown and Ray Parlour, ran up and taunted Ruud by screaming in his face. Keown thumped Ruud in the back of the head and Ashley Cole shoved Ruud in the back. Other United players came over to settle things down, including Ryan Giggs, who was shoved in the back by Lauren. Giggs, ever the proud Welshman, turned around and gave Lauren a mighty shove, at which point Lauren, who is a big pussy, chickened out. Only after another Arsenal player got between Giggs and Lauren did Lauren suddenly act tough again. Jackass!
Then a melee nearly broke out, several players from both teams trying to calm everyone down, but the damage had been done. The FA (Football Association) has now charged 6 Arsenal players and 2 United players with Misconduct. 4 Arsenal players were also charged with Violent Conduct, including Vieira, Keown, Parlour, and Lauren. Giggs and Ronaldo were charged with Misconduct as well.
Hopefully the FA will stand up and enforce their charges. I feel Giggs will be exonerated once they review the tapes and see that he was attacked (from behind, no less) first. As for the Arsenal players, their actions merit suspensions, fines, and the deduction of points from Arsenal's tally. Let Arsenal play 2 matches without these assholes, let them cost their team a couple of losses.
The pathetic thing is that these are grown men (except for Ronaldo, who just turned 18) in a professional sport making millions of dollars each. Martin Keown has 20 years of pro experience under his belt and his behavior was exceptionally disgusting. Patrick Vieira, well anyone but a diehard Arsenal fan will realize that his 8 red cards (the most in the league) are the sign that he is a total asshole on the pitch. Arsenal is lucky that Paul Scholes was not playing that day for many reasons: one, he would have scored a couple of goals, and two, he would have knocked Vieira's head off for kicking Ruud.
The hatred and rivalries between English clubs is ridiculous. The FA needs to punish these offending players severely so that other players realize that any asshole behaviour like that will hurt not only their pocketbooks and their clubs, but will also disgust their fans. Then the FA needs to punish Arsenal's manager, Arsene Wenger, because he obviously has done nothing to curb players like Vieira who insist on stupid, violent behavior. Wenger even went so far as to accuse Ruud of cheating, in getting Vieira to try and kick him in the knee. Hey Wenger! Wake up, asshole! It was your boy who cheated. Award the points for that match to United, suspend Vieira, Parlour, Lauren, and Keown for 2 matches, and dock them two weeks' salary each. That will teach them.
Harsh actions can sometimes result in changes in behavior. United's captain Roy Keane was infamous for some of his malicious and violent tackles, and ended up getting a 13 match suspension for a particularly nasty attack. This season, Keane has been a perfect gentlemen and has said that the suspension caused him to re-examine his life and how he plays. Keane's a good lad now. Either have the FA punish Arsenal like I said above, or let Roy Keane deal out some punishment of his own. I think they'd gladly take the FA's punishment over Keane's.
Here are the complete charges, from Man Utd's site:
Arsenal have been charged with misconduct for failing to ensure the proper behaviour of their players. This constitutes a breach of FA Rule E21(a).
Six Arsenal players have also been charged:
Ashley Cole has been charged with improper conduct (breach of FA Rule E1) for his involvement in a confrontation with Manchester United player Cristiano Ronaldo after the final whistle.
Martin Keown has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting Manchester United player Ruud van Nistelrooy following the penalty miss, and with violent behaviour (breach of Rule E2) for striking van Nistelrooy on the back of the head following the final whistle.
Lauren has been charged with two counts of improper conduct (E1), for confronting van Nistelrooy after Patrick Vieira's sending-off, and for confronting Manchester United player Ryan Giggs after the final whistle. He has also been charged with two counts of violent behaviour (E2), for kicking out at Manchester United player Quinton Fortune following the penalty award, and for forcibly pushing van Nistelrooy in the back following the final whistle.
Jens Lehmann has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting referee Steve Bennett after Patrick Vieira's second yellow card and for then persistently seeking to confront van Nistelrooy.
Ray Parlour has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting van Nistelrooy after the final whistle, and with violent behaviour (E2) for grabbing at Manchester United player Gary Neville from behind shortly afterwards.
Patrick Vieira has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for failing to leave the field of play following his sending-off, and for instead seeking to confront van Nistelrooy and engaging in a verbal exchange with Fourth Official Neale Barry.
In addition, action has been taken against the following Manchester United players:
Ryan Giggs has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for his involvement in a confrontation with Lauren after the match had ended.
Cristiano Ronaldo has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting Martin Keown at the conclusion of the match.
Philip Neville has been warned as to his future conduct regarding a confrontation with Lauren following Vieira's sending-off.
1. Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Man Utd) went up for a ball and fell on Patrick Vieira (Arsenal's captain).
2. Ruud knew full well he would be given a yellow card caution for this, and begin to reach down to help Vieira up.
3. Vieira, incensed, lashed a kick out at Ruud's knee, but only to scare Ruud.
4. Ruud jumped back in shock.
That's what sparked the referee into giving Vieira his second yellow card of the match, which is the same thing as a red card, and suddenly Arsenal was down to 10 men. Many Arsenal players felt Ruud somehow baited Vieira into this, including the vociferous Martin Keown, Lauren, and goalkeeper Lehmann. The way it works is, even if you're fouled or assaulted, you can't retaliate. Those are the rules, and without respect for the rules there is no game.
In stoppage time (time added on to account for players being hurt or booked and wasting time), the score was still 0 - 0, and Man Utd's Diego Forlan (going in for a header that surely would have scored) was pushed down by Martin Keown in the penalty box, which left no choice for the referee but to award a penalty kick. Again, Arsenal's players reacted furiously and got in the ref's face, which, under normal circumstances, would have merited a yellow card for each player challenging the ref. Ruud stepped up to take the kick and ended up hitting the crossbar. The ball was cleared and the full-time whistle was blown.
Ruud, obviously dejected because he could have won the game, was walking back and suddenly a gang of Arsenal players, including Martin Keown and Ray Parlour, ran up and taunted Ruud by screaming in his face. Keown thumped Ruud in the back of the head and Ashley Cole shoved Ruud in the back. Other United players came over to settle things down, including Ryan Giggs, who was shoved in the back by Lauren. Giggs, ever the proud Welshman, turned around and gave Lauren a mighty shove, at which point Lauren, who is a big pussy, chickened out. Only after another Arsenal player got between Giggs and Lauren did Lauren suddenly act tough again. Jackass!
Then a melee nearly broke out, several players from both teams trying to calm everyone down, but the damage had been done. The FA (Football Association) has now charged 6 Arsenal players and 2 United players with Misconduct. 4 Arsenal players were also charged with Violent Conduct, including Vieira, Keown, Parlour, and Lauren. Giggs and Ronaldo were charged with Misconduct as well.
Hopefully the FA will stand up and enforce their charges. I feel Giggs will be exonerated once they review the tapes and see that he was attacked (from behind, no less) first. As for the Arsenal players, their actions merit suspensions, fines, and the deduction of points from Arsenal's tally. Let Arsenal play 2 matches without these assholes, let them cost their team a couple of losses.
The pathetic thing is that these are grown men (except for Ronaldo, who just turned 18) in a professional sport making millions of dollars each. Martin Keown has 20 years of pro experience under his belt and his behavior was exceptionally disgusting. Patrick Vieira, well anyone but a diehard Arsenal fan will realize that his 8 red cards (the most in the league) are the sign that he is a total asshole on the pitch. Arsenal is lucky that Paul Scholes was not playing that day for many reasons: one, he would have scored a couple of goals, and two, he would have knocked Vieira's head off for kicking Ruud.
The hatred and rivalries between English clubs is ridiculous. The FA needs to punish these offending players severely so that other players realize that any asshole behaviour like that will hurt not only their pocketbooks and their clubs, but will also disgust their fans. Then the FA needs to punish Arsenal's manager, Arsene Wenger, because he obviously has done nothing to curb players like Vieira who insist on stupid, violent behavior. Wenger even went so far as to accuse Ruud of cheating, in getting Vieira to try and kick him in the knee. Hey Wenger! Wake up, asshole! It was your boy who cheated. Award the points for that match to United, suspend Vieira, Parlour, Lauren, and Keown for 2 matches, and dock them two weeks' salary each. That will teach them.
Harsh actions can sometimes result in changes in behavior. United's captain Roy Keane was infamous for some of his malicious and violent tackles, and ended up getting a 13 match suspension for a particularly nasty attack. This season, Keane has been a perfect gentlemen and has said that the suspension caused him to re-examine his life and how he plays. Keane's a good lad now. Either have the FA punish Arsenal like I said above, or let Roy Keane deal out some punishment of his own. I think they'd gladly take the FA's punishment over Keane's.
Here are the complete charges, from Man Utd's site:
Arsenal have been charged with misconduct for failing to ensure the proper behaviour of their players. This constitutes a breach of FA Rule E21(a).
Six Arsenal players have also been charged:
Ashley Cole has been charged with improper conduct (breach of FA Rule E1) for his involvement in a confrontation with Manchester United player Cristiano Ronaldo after the final whistle.
Martin Keown has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting Manchester United player Ruud van Nistelrooy following the penalty miss, and with violent behaviour (breach of Rule E2) for striking van Nistelrooy on the back of the head following the final whistle.
Lauren has been charged with two counts of improper conduct (E1), for confronting van Nistelrooy after Patrick Vieira's sending-off, and for confronting Manchester United player Ryan Giggs after the final whistle. He has also been charged with two counts of violent behaviour (E2), for kicking out at Manchester United player Quinton Fortune following the penalty award, and for forcibly pushing van Nistelrooy in the back following the final whistle.
Jens Lehmann has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting referee Steve Bennett after Patrick Vieira's second yellow card and for then persistently seeking to confront van Nistelrooy.
Ray Parlour has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting van Nistelrooy after the final whistle, and with violent behaviour (E2) for grabbing at Manchester United player Gary Neville from behind shortly afterwards.
Patrick Vieira has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for failing to leave the field of play following his sending-off, and for instead seeking to confront van Nistelrooy and engaging in a verbal exchange with Fourth Official Neale Barry.
In addition, action has been taken against the following Manchester United players:
Ryan Giggs has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for his involvement in a confrontation with Lauren after the match had ended.
Cristiano Ronaldo has been charged with improper conduct (E1) for confronting Martin Keown at the conclusion of the match.
Philip Neville has been warned as to his future conduct regarding a confrontation with Lauren following Vieira's sending-off.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
He Should've Married The Cow --- Check out this story, from the BBC News. Andrews is denied a new trial in the murder of her lover Cressman. She killed him because he said he wouldn't marry her. Beats having your head knocked in with a crickett bat.
Fuck Bush --- Howard Dean spoke in Boston to roars of approval. Check it here, from Washington Post. If only one thing is clear now, in 2003, it's that Bush has got to be defeated in the next election (and we have to keep the Supreme Court from installing him when he loses AGAIN). Check out Howard Dean, give him a listen.
What Does $87 Billion Get You? --- Go here, to the Tom Paine website, for some interesting figures. 87 Billion is the amount on our tab at the Bar Iraq, btw. Tom Paine, incidently, left America for France and languished in a French prison, forgotten by Jefferson, Adams and all the rest, for what it's worth.
Monday, September 22, 2003
A Scathing Denunciation Of The LA Galaxy Strategy --- The LA Galaxy (that's soccer) hosted D.C. United on Saturday. Things were fairly ho-hum for about the first 60 minutes, and then, as usual, Kobi Jones lost his poise. In almost every home game, right around the 60th minutes, Kobi's frustration in not scoring or passing well turns into contempt for the referree. He gets in the ref's face. You can see him mouth some lovely names. In other leagues this disrespect would earn you a Yellow. Then, inevitably, Kobi goes out and decides he will exact physical revenge on the other team. In this case, Kobi did a stupidly timed, cowardly tackle that was geared only to injure someone, leaving the referree no choice but to book him. Again, Kobi gets angry. It's pathetic. As one of the senior members of our team, Jones, keep your cool. Lead by example. You disgrace the team and us by your cheap tackles.
The fact that Jones does this every game indicates some sort of discipline breakdown. The coach should reign in Jones, and, more importantly take him out of the game around the 65th minutes. Jones rarely has the energy to play a full match, you'll see him walking angrily back onsides after a run, when a real player would be running end to end. I know Jones is a crowd favorite, but if it were my team, I'd free up some of the payroll by dealing Jones elsewhere and then sign a few quick attacking midfielders. Think of the team.
When the Galaxy need a goal and it's in the 70th minute or so, then Carlos Ruiz begins his diving championship. Every forward run into the box will find Ruiz on his back, claiming a foul. He is an expert diver. It's a part of South American / Central American soccer that I find loathsome. It's cheating. If you don't respect the rules, you don't respect the game. Typically, Ruiz will dive 4 or 5 times and finally the ref will bite and give him a penalty kick (which he never misses). Again, in a real league (which the MLS is trying to become) a dive earns a Yellow. The refs need to crack down on this because it's embarassing. Ruiz usually tricks a ref into giving him the penalty, and we win by 1 goal. It's a cheap victory, tainted with unprofessionalism and cheap tricksterism. Score a proper goal or get off the pitch.
On Saturday, right after Kobi blew up, thinking he should've gotten a call his way, I said, "Now watch, Kobi will go do some lousy challenge on someone, he'll get booked, and then Ruiz will start diving all over the place." I kid you not, all of that came true within 10 minutes. What I really want is for the MLS to rise to international standards, not get mired down in cheap theatrics and second-rate strategies. We want to have clubs capable of beating Italian, French, and English teams, not to have clubs playing the same bullshit soccer you see in Argentina and Mexico.
The fact that Jones does this every game indicates some sort of discipline breakdown. The coach should reign in Jones, and, more importantly take him out of the game around the 65th minutes. Jones rarely has the energy to play a full match, you'll see him walking angrily back onsides after a run, when a real player would be running end to end. I know Jones is a crowd favorite, but if it were my team, I'd free up some of the payroll by dealing Jones elsewhere and then sign a few quick attacking midfielders. Think of the team.
When the Galaxy need a goal and it's in the 70th minute or so, then Carlos Ruiz begins his diving championship. Every forward run into the box will find Ruiz on his back, claiming a foul. He is an expert diver. It's a part of South American / Central American soccer that I find loathsome. It's cheating. If you don't respect the rules, you don't respect the game. Typically, Ruiz will dive 4 or 5 times and finally the ref will bite and give him a penalty kick (which he never misses). Again, in a real league (which the MLS is trying to become) a dive earns a Yellow. The refs need to crack down on this because it's embarassing. Ruiz usually tricks a ref into giving him the penalty, and we win by 1 goal. It's a cheap victory, tainted with unprofessionalism and cheap tricksterism. Score a proper goal or get off the pitch.
On Saturday, right after Kobi blew up, thinking he should've gotten a call his way, I said, "Now watch, Kobi will go do some lousy challenge on someone, he'll get booked, and then Ruiz will start diving all over the place." I kid you not, all of that came true within 10 minutes. What I really want is for the MLS to rise to international standards, not get mired down in cheap theatrics and second-rate strategies. We want to have clubs capable of beating Italian, French, and English teams, not to have clubs playing the same bullshit soccer you see in Argentina and Mexico.
AM Radio --- Free show this Thursday, billed as "AM Radio & Friends." These friends could be anyone from Cerulean, to Psoma, to Thumpurr, to Weezer. It's probably gonna be Weezer. Be real stupid and bring something for Rivers to sign, like a lunchbox.
AM Radio & Friends
1253 Vine Street (@Fountain)
Hollywood, CA 90038
21+ Showtime: 10:30pm FREE!
AM Radio & Friends
1253 Vine Street (@Fountain)
Hollywood, CA 90038
21+ Showtime: 10:30pm FREE!
EELS on tour --- Hitting all the colleges, it's a smart-kid blowout:
10/16 -- Lawrence, KS -- Bottleneck
10/18 -- Columbia, MO -- Blue Note
10/20 -- Madison, WI -- Luther's Blues
10/21 -- Champaign, IL -- High Dive
10/23 -- St. Louis, MO -- Mississippi Nights
10/24 -- Louisville, KY -- Headliners
10/26 -- Ann Arbor, MI -- Blind Pig
10/28 -- Pittsburgh, PA -- Rosebud
10/29 -- Ottawa, ONT -- Barrymore
10/31 -- Montreal, QUE -- Club Soda
11/1 -- Albany, NY -- Northern Lights
11/2 -- Northampton, MA -- Pearl Street
11/3 -- Burlington, VT -- Higher Ground
11/5 -- New Haven, CT -- Toad's Place
11/6 -- Boston, MA -- Paradise
11/7 -- Baltimore, MD -- Recher Theater
11/8 -- Brooklyn, NY -- Warsaw
Street Dogs On Tour --- This is the new band featuring the original singer of Dropkick Murphys. Get your little shamrock hats and Celtic jerseys out.
Oct. 11th- Boston, MA- Street Dogs CD release party -AXIS (also with Lost City
Angels, The Briggs, Dirty Water, The Marvels)
Oct. 13th- Wilkes-Barre, PA- Cafi Metropolis
Oct. 14th- Arlington, VA- The Royal Lee
Oct. 15th- Atlanta, GA -Swayzes
Oct. 16th- St. Petersburg, FL- Venom
Oct. 18th- Orlando, FL- The Social
Oct. 19th - New Orleans, LA- The Dixie Tavern
Oct. 20th - Dallas, TX- Red Blood Club
Oct. 21st - Austin, TX-Emos
Oct. 22nd - San Antonio, TX-Sam's Burger Joint
Oct. 23rd - Tucson, AZ- Skrappy's
Oct. 24th - South Gate/Los Angeles, CA- Allen Theatre
Oct. 26th - Bakersfield,CA- Jerry's Pizza
Oct. 27th - Reno, NV- TBA
Oct. 28th - Sacramento, CA- Capitol Garage
Oct. 29th - Hollywood, CA- The Garage
Oct. 30th - Anaheim, CA- House of Blues w/Flogging Molly!
(Halloween Show!)
Oct. 31st - Anaheim, CA- House of Blues w/Flogging Molly!
(Halloween Show!)
10/16 -- Lawrence, KS -- Bottleneck
10/18 -- Columbia, MO -- Blue Note
10/20 -- Madison, WI -- Luther's Blues
10/21 -- Champaign, IL -- High Dive
10/23 -- St. Louis, MO -- Mississippi Nights
10/24 -- Louisville, KY -- Headliners
10/26 -- Ann Arbor, MI -- Blind Pig
10/28 -- Pittsburgh, PA -- Rosebud
10/29 -- Ottawa, ONT -- Barrymore
10/31 -- Montreal, QUE -- Club Soda
11/1 -- Albany, NY -- Northern Lights
11/2 -- Northampton, MA -- Pearl Street
11/3 -- Burlington, VT -- Higher Ground
11/5 -- New Haven, CT -- Toad's Place
11/6 -- Boston, MA -- Paradise
11/7 -- Baltimore, MD -- Recher Theater
11/8 -- Brooklyn, NY -- Warsaw
Street Dogs On Tour --- This is the new band featuring the original singer of Dropkick Murphys. Get your little shamrock hats and Celtic jerseys out.
Oct. 11th- Boston, MA- Street Dogs CD release party -AXIS (also with Lost City
Angels, The Briggs, Dirty Water, The Marvels)
Oct. 13th- Wilkes-Barre, PA- Cafi Metropolis
Oct. 14th- Arlington, VA- The Royal Lee
Oct. 15th- Atlanta, GA -Swayzes
Oct. 16th- St. Petersburg, FL- Venom
Oct. 18th- Orlando, FL- The Social
Oct. 19th - New Orleans, LA- The Dixie Tavern
Oct. 20th - Dallas, TX- Red Blood Club
Oct. 21st - Austin, TX-Emos
Oct. 22nd - San Antonio, TX-Sam's Burger Joint
Oct. 23rd - Tucson, AZ- Skrappy's
Oct. 24th - South Gate/Los Angeles, CA- Allen Theatre
Oct. 26th - Bakersfield,CA- Jerry's Pizza
Oct. 27th - Reno, NV- TBA
Oct. 28th - Sacramento, CA- Capitol Garage
Oct. 29th - Hollywood, CA- The Garage
Oct. 30th - Anaheim, CA- House of Blues w/Flogging Molly!
(Halloween Show!)
Oct. 31st - Anaheim, CA- House of Blues w/Flogging Molly!
(Halloween Show!)